Yeah, I'm talkin' to you ... the dumbass camel who stood in my way while I was innocently on my way to Barracuda* to pick up 1400 dirhams worth of tax-free alcohol.
I honked my horn ... you just stood there. I rolled down my window and cranked up Andrew WK on my stereo ... still you didn't budge. I got out of my car to yell and madly wave my arms ... you charged me.
Ahmed ... what can I say? If your life wasn't worth more than mine in this country I probably would've run you over.
Don't ever leave the UAE.
* For those of you not from these parts, the Barracuda is a booze can about 70km north of Dubai in an emirate called Umm Al Quwain. Unlike Dubai, where expats need a special license just for the privilege of purchasing overpriced alcohol with a 30% tax across the top just for good measure, you can buy whatever you want at the Barracuda, 24/7, no license, no I.D., nothing. Consequently, on weekends it's always packed with Dubai expats.
Though there wasn't much time to relax during our stay in Toronto two weeks ago, we did at least manage to have a few Proud-to-be-Canadian moments. We may live in the sand, but we still bleed blue ... and did I mention they bring beer right to your seats?
To mark our one year anniversary in Dubai, my 30th birthday, our one year wedding anniversary, and my parents last weekend in Dubai, we all decided to head down to Muscat for a couple of days of relaxin'.
Unlike Dubai, Muscat has retained much of its Arabic culture and history. This city of about 600,000 is easily the Arabian equivalent of the French Riviera. From streets lined with gardens to the entirely low-rise white-washed buildings, the place has a quiet elegence about it that is unmatched in the region.
It probably also didn't hurt that we stayed at a crazy design hotel called The Chedi ... highly recommended place to hide from the world.
Unlike Dubai, Muscat has retained much of its Arabic culture and history. This city of about 600,000 is easily the Arabian equivalent of the French Riviera. From streets lined with gardens to the entirely low-rise white-washed buildings, the place has a quiet elegence about it that is unmatched in the region.
It probably also didn't hurt that we stayed at a crazy design hotel called The Chedi ... highly recommended place to hide from the world.
While my parents were in town for a visit we thought rather than letting them take one of those desert safari trips that we'd round up the 4x4 crew and head out to Big Red. After about two hours we'd made our way fairly far north and up past fossil rock we came across the biggest dune I've ever seen - probably about 7 stories tall, this thing makes Big Red seem like an anthill. Me trusty V8 couldn't even get up half way.
We named it Mega Dune.
Enough said.
You truly know it's a slow news day in Dubai when the lead story in 7 Days is about the new Borat movie and whether or not it will be banned in the UAE. Now it's not as if that particular newspaper is trying to be the region's answer to the New York Post or anything, but still I'd have serious trouble justifying that story as news. That said, the photo included with the story has to be one of the funniest things I've seen in print here, and believe me, that's saying a lot.
7 Days Story
The story gracing the front pages of several local papers this week was the World Wildlife Fund's 2006 Living Planet Report, which claims that people living in the United Arab Emirates are placing the most stress per capita on the planet, ahead of the United States, Finland, and Canada. Having lived here for the past six months I can't say I'm at all surprised by that conclusion. From the constant hum of air-conditioners 24 hours a day 365 days a year, to the ridiculous amount of water used to keep the city's green spaces ... well ... green, to the heaping piles of trash produced with sadly limited recycling program, it's an ugly state of affairs that no amount of palm-shaped islands or seven star hotels can hide.
What was surprising was the UAE government's feeble attempt at a response. After dismissing the report "inaccurate" and "ridiculous", Majid Al Mansouri, the Secretary General of the Environmental Agency - Abu Dhabi (EAD) questioned why the report was focused on a per capita model and went on to tell Gulf News "The UAE has contributed to projects in Pakistan, Morocco and other countries building, roads, hospitals and schools. Look at our involvement in the rebuilding of Lebanon. Millions of dirhams go out of the UAE, with expatriates supporting their families back home. Why don't they focus on our global contribution."
Well, thank you. That's a weight off my mind. Shame on the WWF for writing a report about the precarious state of the environment without first examining the UAE's international road-building programs. I bet they also didn't take into account the fact that we have the world's biggest shopping mall.
What was surprising was the UAE government's feeble attempt at a response. After dismissing the report "inaccurate" and "ridiculous", Majid Al Mansouri, the Secretary General of the Environmental Agency - Abu Dhabi (EAD) questioned why the report was focused on a per capita model and went on to tell Gulf News "The UAE has contributed to projects in Pakistan, Morocco and other countries building, roads, hospitals and schools. Look at our involvement in the rebuilding of Lebanon. Millions of dirhams go out of the UAE, with expatriates supporting their families back home. Why don't they focus on our global contribution."
Well, thank you. That's a weight off my mind. Shame on the WWF for writing a report about the precarious state of the environment without first examining the UAE's international road-building programs. I bet they also didn't take into account the fact that we have the world's biggest shopping mall.
24 degrees C tonight with a nice cool breeze blowing in from the gulf. After the hell we just endured in july and august that masquerades here as 'summer' we're finally due for our share of good outdoor weather. From evening bike rides in Nad Al Sheba (on the boulevard leading up to Sheikh Zayed's palace), to scuba diving in Fujairah near snoopy rock, and off-roading on the beaches in Jebel Ali, it's a new world when it don't suck outside.
Today marks the official end of Ramadan. For Muslims, Ramadan is the holiest month in the calendar which is commenced and concluded at the sighting of the 9th and 10th new moons. During this time, eating, drinking, smoking, and sex are not permitted between sunrise and sunset. Muslims are also expected to put more effort into the teachings of Islam and refrain from anger, envy, and greed. For the rest of us, out of respect we are asked to refrain from eating, drinking, and smoking in public (including your car). Many restaurants are closed during the day, the ones that remain open have big curtains drawn around them so nobody can see inside. Live entertainment is also prohibited, including DJs, though at least after 7pm many bars still serve alcohol. Local TV and radio is even worse than usual too, though I must admit to finding a bent appeal in watching some of the historical Arabic soaps.
Over the past few months I've heard many expats make a big deal about the restrictions during Ramadan, though in practice I can't say it was really much inconvenience. Sure, there were those mornings where I almost fell asleep at the wheel not being able to have my usual morning caffeine shot in the car, but otherwise life was just a little more relaxed. The hardest thing I found was the no live entertainment thing, especially the other day after reading Eye Weekly's Toronto concert listings the other week - can you believe I missed Iron Maiden again? The horror.
Now that things are getting back to normal (and by normal I mean hectic Dubai pace) at least there are some good concerts coming up on the radar ... Groove Armada, Danny Howells, Bob Sinclair and Mylo, just to name a few. Sure, it ain't much, but it's something.
Over the past few months I've heard many expats make a big deal about the restrictions during Ramadan, though in practice I can't say it was really much inconvenience. Sure, there were those mornings where I almost fell asleep at the wheel not being able to have my usual morning caffeine shot in the car, but otherwise life was just a little more relaxed. The hardest thing I found was the no live entertainment thing, especially the other day after reading Eye Weekly's Toronto concert listings the other week - can you believe I missed Iron Maiden again? The horror.
Now that things are getting back to normal (and by normal I mean hectic Dubai pace) at least there are some good concerts coming up on the radar ... Groove Armada, Danny Howells, Bob Sinclair and Mylo, just to name a few. Sure, it ain't much, but it's something.